the joys of home ownership

I keep my phone on "vibrate" much of the time so as not to disturb a classroom I'm visiting or interrupt a staff or parent meeting. And so I was awakened this morning at 5, not by my melodious ringtone but by the angry buzz of my cell phone trying to vibrate off the counter. Mary assumed it was simply her husband snoring louder than usual, turned over, covered her head with a pillow and went back to sleep, whereas I grabbed up the phone and stumbled out into the dark hallway, closing the door behind me.

It was my Florida realtor calling to inform me that our little condo in Florida was flooded. My sleep-shrouded brain had difficulty processing this statement. I pay attention to the "Tropical Update" on the Weather channel for just this reason, and had heard of no tropical storm threatening the "Treasure Coast" so the best response I could muster at this drowsy moment was, "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. Your tenant called me a minute ago upset because there's two inches of water on the floor. Apparently the water feed to the toilet burst. What do you want me to do about it?"
The words, "What do you want ME to do about it?" were forming in my mind, but fortunately I thought better. When you are a couple thousand miles away, have a flood and an unhappy tenant, you need allies, not enemies. I managed to squeak, "Uhhhhhhh, what do you recommend?"
So, now my realtor and her handyman are on their way, and I have an image in my mind of dollar bills floating away on the crest of a bathroom flood. Ah, the joys of home ownership.